I used to be heavily controlled by insecurity and anger, and I couldn’t see people experience any good without feeling jealous. At my worst, even good moments would turn into bitterness inside me. My anger was so intense that one day, I experienced a sudden clarity, like a light exposing everything I had become, urging me to turn away from hatred. So, people question why I became involved in religion, and the truth is—I was told to, not by my parents, but by Christ.

I used to be a very sensitive person—little things always seemed to upset or annoy me. My mind was filled with so much negativity that when I was overwhelmed by it, I felt like I was slipping andcouldn’t hold onto anything steady. That sensitivity caused me to lose all kinds of relationships, especially with my family and friends.

Each relationship I had kept getting dispersed, and while I believed I was improving, I realized that nothing was actually changing. Though three years later, someone helped me change, someone showed me I’m not actually alone. That someone was Jesus Christ.

My first encounter with God

During a tiring night, at the beginning of January, my anger returned with nothing but hatred and judgment, but this time I didn’t let it swallow me. Instead of reacting, I paused and chose to seek God’s guidance.

As I prayed, I felt a conviction—like a voice I couldn’t ignore. I heard him say, “You’re doing wrong. Come to me for your conflicts, come to me for your aggravations,” he added, “do not go to another person and speak ill of one another instead of recognizing you’re wrong.” 

His blessings helped me understand my wrongdoings and taught me that the feeling of guilt wasn’t truly mine but a message from the Lord—showing me His guidance by opening my eyes to the foolishness I had held inside.

This experience with what I knew to be the Holy Spirit sparked my eternal love for Christ, and from that day on, I finally felt ready to begin my journey of faith. I bought a Bible and began reading and studying every day, finishing the books of Proverbs and Galatians (wisdom and freedom) in just three months.

Letting go of my negativity

The Word has taught me not only how to change the way I react, but has shown me to love everyone—even my enemies. I find myself now wanting to get out of my comfort zone and connect with everyone instead of carrying grudges that are long overdue. 

I’ve learned to leave all the anxiety, negativity, and darkness in my life to the Lord and instead carry wisdom, love, and care for all. That means choosing patience when I feel anger rising, and choosing silence instead of reacting out of frustration. Not only has this made my life more joyful, but it has also helped me avoid lashing out, feeling vengeful, or fighting fire with fire.

Romans 12:21 expresses, “Do not overcome [evil] by evil, but overcome evil with good,” and right before, Romans 12:19, it expresses, “Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, ‘Vengeance is mine, I will repay,’ says the Lord.”

I don’t want anyone to feel unwanted or hated around me. I used to feel alone, and I know what it’s like to feel like no one is there for you. That kind of loneliness isn’t just physical—it’s something that sits inside you, even when people surround you. But when I found the Spirit, those feelings of isolation began to fade, and I haven’t felt alone since.

What makes that feeling more profound is the melting pot of our world, brimming with diverse beliefs, opinions, and perspectives. In one place, a person’s religion might be regarded as the truth, while in another, it could be dismissed as a delusion.

I’ve been shown, however, where I once divided because of how different we all are, I was taught that instead we are individuals created to connect with each other like missing puzzle pieces. Now, I no longer feel that separation because we are different.

God revealed to me that no matter where I am, I am never truly alone, and while I’ve felt judged or misunderstood, I no longer let those feelings define how I see myself because of the confidence Christ has given me. My sense of belonging is no longer rooted in whether others understand me, but in the fact that God understands me.

I’m truly happy where I am, and now I’ve learned how to work through some of the biggest things I’ve hated about myself with Christ holding my hand. Finding my faith allowed me to find myself too; becoming a new person born of the Spirit and no longer someone consumed by narcissism.

I know now that the Lord has brought me life and rebirth from who I used to be, as it says in 2 Corinthians 5:17, “if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.” In that truth, I continue forward—not as who I was, as who I am becoming.