The outcome of loving somebody so much is eventually having to grieve their absence. Whether it’s choosing to never see them again or having to accept the fact that they are gone, both are still a common form of loss. Mourning affects people daily, so it’s important to understand the reasons behind grief and how people react to it.

First of all, what is grief? Grief is often perceived as an emotion, but it acts like a response to a traumatic moment in somebody’s life, such as losing something or someone. Grieving is not only for death, but it can also occur through breaking up with someone, losing one’s identity or trust, moving, and sometimes grief can occur because of something a person can never experience due to certain circumstances. 

 There are different kinds of ways that people grieve. Such instances are grieving before a loss happens, too fast, which leads to guilt, repressing one’s emotions, and grieving collectively over a shared instance.

Regarding grief, the body is affected, too. It elevates the “fight or flight” response by changing the way our body responds in a regular emotional state. The emotional reaction varies depending on the person. For example, someone suffering from loss may react by eating too much and by experiencing sleep deprivation, while another person in mourning rarely eats and sleeps as an escape mechanism.

Other effects on the body from mourning are exhaustion, weakening of the immune system, cardiovascular issues, painful tension at any part of the body, and the brain may lead to disorientation and other aspects. These outcomes from suffering a loss already seem like a handful that people have no control over, but imagine wallowing in tears being added onto the pile.

Simply the thought of losing someone may bring a person to tears. To put it into perspective, grieving is a chaotic and emotional mess. Shock, confusion, fear, regret, sorrow, resentment, and other factors come in when it comes to this type of experience.

It is often said that there are stages of grief which go in this order: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and then the long-awaited acceptance. 

Although these emotions caused by loss do occur, is grief built on consecutive stages? Well, no, it isn’t. Everybody experiences a loss differently, whether it’s an on-and-off switch of guilt or denial and acceptance.

“There are stages of grief, but it’s not all in one order, and it’s multi-layered,“ Andrea Lahoud, a Licensed Mental Health Counselor in Jacksonville, Florida, responded.” There are many ways people process loss and make meaning from living with the loss.”

Lahoud describes grief as an individual journey within someone and that it doesn’t fall into stages, but into a variety of parts for each person. The pain of a loss never disappears; people find ways to cope with it. It is easy to fall into the emotions a person feels during mourning, so building good habits will take some of that pain away rather than worsening it.

Advice for those who have experienced this type of pain involves sticking around a support system, whether that is family, friends, or anything that serves as a distraction that won’t worsen the suffering. 

“Time will heal, and there is so much more to life than just one person. My friends were definitely the only reason I got through my heartbreaks and hardships. I really couldn’t have done it without their support,” emphasized Laura Liu, a sophomore at the school.

When somebody hasn’t experienced the trauma of loss, it becomes difficult to perceive and understand the situation that a person is handling. Action is the best solution to solve this problem since something as simple as letting them speak and providing company will fill the hole in their heart. 

“After my brother initially passed, I would try to explain to people about what happened, but I would always break down,” explained Dr. Garcia, the AP World and  Regular Government teacher who is also the founder of the Kevin Garcia Foundation.

 “Now it’s a different kind of struggle where so much time has passed that people don’t seem further interested or as interested because it happened such a long time ago.”

Solely asking about the person somebody has lost brightens their day because years after the incident, it’s found to be rare for someone to care about it. No matter how many years it has been since a loss, that loss stays as if it’s a scar. Applying interest without interruption in the subject will help the person mourning have a place to let out what they have been holding in.

Marissa Rosa, a leader in Christian ministry who works at Potential Church, answered, “Listening helps the person whose head is a mess sort everything out, which can take over someone’s mind. Adding more to someone’s thoughts with advice can do more harm than good. It’s helpful to let others vent to be able to find peace.”

Grief is a mental battle faced by many each day. Loss is inevitable, so it’s best to stay in the present, to stay grateful, and to show love for each other. Treat people with kindness, make somebody’s day, and always think positively because that energy will radiate and impact anybody going through a tough situation. 

“If there’s one thing grief has taught me, it’s to never wait to love loudly. Say what you need to say, hold onto the people you care about while you still can, because those moments become memories far sooner than we expect. Love never leaves, it just evolves into ways that we don’t expect,” stated Lailani Savinovich Chin Loy, a freshman at the school.