From an early age, emotions haven’t just touched my life; they’ve shaped it. Oftentimes, I’d consider myself sensitive; things others seemed to brush off would stay with me for days or weeks. I didn’t know it at the time, but that emotional intensity was the beginning of what would become constant anxiety.

I spent years trying to manage it, understand it, or just make it stop. Nothing seemed to help until I encountered Jesus. It wasn’t an immediate transformation, but a quiet, steady presence that began to shift how I saw everything, including my anxiety.

Anxiety followed me everywhere–school, performances, or hangouts–it would constantly control my life. Things that were supposed to be fun felt impossible, and no one in my life, including me, understood why. I tried to manage it on my own: I searched for answers in books, self-help advice, and various belief systems, but nothing seemed to stick.

Then something changed, but not in the way I expected. I didn’t suddenly “get better,” the anxiety didn’t vanish. Instead, I met someone who didn’t expect me to fix myself first: I met Jesus.

At first, even the idea of Jesus made me uncomfortable. I debated with Christians to justify my confusion, I pushed back on their welcome, and asked hard questions. I thought faith had to be earned, that peace came only after achieving perfection. But I began to understand that Jesus didn’t come for the people who have it all together. He came for people like me, confused, anxious, hurting, and searching.

He didn’t immediately take away my pain or anxiety, but he gave it meaning. For the first time, I felt like my emotions had a place. I didn’t feel the need to repress them; instead, I learned to love them, seeing them in a different light.

The same feeling that once overwhelmed me now helps me connect deeply with others. I learned to understand and empathize with what people are going through, build meaningful and genuine connections beyond the surface, and feel so much love for them.

However, there are still hard days; I find myself struggling, and being the only Christian in a family with diverse beliefs, some Muslim, atheist, agnostic, has me feeling isolated. I often feel like I don’t quite “fit in.” However, I’m learning that not fitting in doesn’t mean I’m lost; It means I’m on a different path, and that’s okay.

What I’ve come to understand is this: sometimes, God allows struggles like anxiety not to punish us, but to shape us. Through my anxiety, I’ve learned patience, empathy, and surrender, and have been able to sprout out of my comfort zone and grow from my mistakes.

Jesus didn’t take away my trials, but he walked with me through them. He didn’t just heal me by removing the struggle; He healed me by giving it a purpose. He showed me that my pain isn’t meaningless, but rather part of a bigger story where love, healing, and transformation are possible.

My life now isn’t perfect, and my anxiety still exists, but I’m no longer defined by it. What used to feel like weakness now feels like a gift, and those dance recitals, school days, and moments with friends aren’t just challenges to get through; they’re opportunities to glorify God.

Since then, I’ve used the strength He’s given me to preach the gospel to people I’ve never met, and share his love with hundreds of students in school.

I treat school as a mission trip, seeking ways to share the gospel through my life. And the rough parts of my past are what make my testimony; they’re the way I get to reflect his strength and grace through my story. With love, courage, and even sometimes, anxiety.