Pineapple on Pizza? Don’t Get a Slice of that Action!

Rebekah Barrera, Arts & Entertainment Editor

Stomach growling, you walk into the kitchen determined to satisfy your strong craving for something savory. Among the vast emptiness of your countertops sits a box of fresh pizza, its heavenly scent luring you towards the contents inside– what should be a thick, pillowy crust layered with rich tomato sauce and stretchy mozzarella that melts in your mouth. Licking your lips, you cave in and open the box. Only, the pizza doesn’t have the vibrant glow you imagined. Scattered chunks of pineapple fill your vision instead, and suddenly, your appetite is lost.

   This scene is one all too relatable, and it’s for completely valid reasons. Pineapple does not belong on pizza, and no matter how long the hot topic is put into question, it never will.

   Of course, when it comes to any flavor combination, the idea that “opposites attract” plays a vital role in the overall balance of the pair. Think the richness of chocolate and the savory of peanut butter, or the sweet and sour of a Sour Patch; these combinations only work so well together because one flavor doesn’t mask the other. When it comes to pineapple on pizza, you may immediately think that the sweetness of pineapple matches up perfectly with the savory cheese pizza. However, the logic here technically doesn’t apply. Pineapples are known to bring their sour taste to the table, and tomato sauce plays the same role. Put them together, and you only get an overload of confusion: pockets of tang interrupting the perfect ratio of crust to sauce to cheese.

   Nonetheless, the distinct taste of pineapple can definitely add to a meal, as long as it’s in the right proportions! Take steakhouses, for example. Grilled pineapple is served alongside the main meats, often offered for the customer to take a light break between heavy proteins. In this case, the tangy fruit doesn’t have the opportunity to overpower its counterparts. Sadly enough, the same can’t be said for the fruit’s role on the already-packed flavor palate of pizza.

   If pineapple can’t strengthen the flavor of a pizza, perhaps its only benefit is the nutrients it contributes. But at what cost? Pizza is the usual epitome of junk food, yet everyone still loves the classic meal. Look at it this way: adding bananas to your ice cream sundae doesn’t exactly make the dessert a healthy one. In the case of pineapple on pizza, the fresh fruit by itself would likely make for a healthier alternative.

   While both sides of the “Pineapple on Pizza Debate” constantly claim superiority over the other, the objective fact is that we all have our own tastes, and food can get much better than pineapple on pizza! Pineapple slices right out the fridge never fail to provide refreshment, which is something we can always rely on. Pineapple on pizza is a different story, and you wouldn’t want a slice of that action!